Only a Nobody
by Dreamy Duskywing
Summary: Roxas hasn't ever felt like he belongs.  It takes moving away, some typical teenage angsting and a redhead to teach him that he's not a nobody after all.
1. Always Alone

**A.N –** Hey, a random plot bunny attacked as I was about to go to bed. A quarter past midnight. Pfft, not even a PLOT bunny, more of a ... random heartless little tease of a story...teasing me. Have any of you ever written the _**ending**_ of a story first? No, just me? I wrote the last paragraph and now need to see if there's any hope of a story to join it, you never know, it might hold out on me. I may be half delirious from lack of sleep, it may be no good...We shall have to see. Let me know what you think!

**Disclaimer**** –** As always, much as it pains me to confess, these characters don't belong to me. Much as I would like to keep Axel locked in my room, he belongs to Roxas. Ah, I mean Disney. Uhm, sorry...SquareEnix...nah, definitely Roxas.

**Warning**** – **This story deals with a little bit of religion, a little bit of boy love and a bit of angsty emoishness which my youngest brother (just turned 14 and determined that the world is out to get him) has inspired me to write. Lol, thought I'd best let you know...leave now, shield your eyes ect if you don't want to deal with any of said warnings!

**Edited**** – **Following a review from the ever supportive and lovely Lifeslover, I re-read this pitiful attempt at a story and simply had to put in a little extra work. Not much will change but I hope to explain a few events that made next to no sense and fill in a few gaps. Hopefully the edit will make it slightly more readable. I'm sorry for posting it before it was really ready! *blush*

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Roxas grew up without his parents in his life. He wasn't an orphan, he knew that somewhere, out in the world, his father existed and even put money into an account for his son. But since Roxas' mother's family refused to allow the boy to even meet his father, Roxas had grown up being handed around amongst his maternal family. No one ever told him, but Roxas slowly came to realise that his mother couldn't have passed away peacefully, nor was it an accident of child birth. She was never spoken of except in mentioning her as a little girl and even then pain flickered in the eyes of her family members. The angelic blonde woman had been a part of a large, catholic family with two brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles galore and countless cousins. Whilst away at college she had fallen head over heels in love with a stoic brunet who very rarely made friends or interacted much with those around him. On a night of drunken debauchery, Naminé (Roxas' mother) had helped the very drunken brunet back home and when he'd initiated a few sloppy kisses and fumbling motions, the girl had willingly accepted the attention. She didn't think of the consequences or her family's reaction, college was about growing up, making mistakes and living before graduating and settling down. It was with a heavy heart that she informed the man that their single night together had formed a life, pulsating delicately within her. Leon's grey eyes had swam with the emotion he kept from his face as he told her that he couldn't give her what she wanted. He couldn't appease her family by marrying the girl. He loved someone else. A man. Naminé had to face her family alone, confessing to her child, conceived out of wedlock. And became distressed when they wouldn't even allow her to abort the child, God had gifted her with the baby and she would have to love it as He did. The girl didn't understand. If the baby was a gift from God, how could it be wrong to have conceived the little bundle of cells growing within her day by day?

After he'd managed to gather scraps of his mother's story from various relatives whenever he could cajole them into it, Roxas filled in the blanks himself. Having carried the baby for eight months, he decided that now was the time to be born, and on a night filled with rain and snow, Roxas had come into the world. Naminé didn't want to know him. She had suffered a lot birthing the child and didn't want to bond with him. He represented such potential for sorrow. He could die, turn out to be broken or grow up to be a bully or someone 'in with the wrong crowd'. Naminé had grown up in a sheltered life and was too young to take on the responsibility of motherhood. It was possible she had suffered from unnoticed post natal depression, but a week after she'd brought Roxas into the world – a gift from God, precious and glowing with life – Naminé left it, taking her own life and joining her Father in heaven to beg His forgiveness. Admittedly, Roxas may have romanticised his mother's story. But he didn't have a lot to go on. When his mother had died, her family had fought Roxas' father for custody, and since the man was living with another male in a romantic relationship, Roxas had been given to his mother's family, his father only being able to affect one thing in his son's life. Under no circumstance was Roxas to be sent to a Catholic school. He willingly supplied two tutors for the boy to keep him out of school and also, unbeknownst to all else involved, to give the boy someone who was different. The two tutors were not religious and they didn't have strict views on life that they would try to force upon his son. They had both travelled and held a great deal of knowledge that they were willing to share about many different topics. But this was the only influence the father could have on his son's life.

And so Roxas grew up, his mother's family were not overly wealthy and was very large with lots of cousins for Roxas to share and fight with. However, this meant that when one family fell on hard times, the boy was shunted to another home and so he grew resentful, it was as if they merely put up with him. His tutors were the only constant in his life. Vexen taught him mathematics, the sciences, geography and about computers. Roxas didn't like the man with the long blond hair and creepy green eyes. He reminded him of a snake and his lessons were always very factual, filled with note taking and lectures. Roxas liked his other teacher, Zexion. The quiet man with slate coloured hair which perpetually covered one eye seemed at first glance to be immersed in his own mind, completely oblivious to the world around him. But Roxas knew that Zexion was forever absorbing information, his single visible eye soaked everything up and stored it in his marvellous mind. Though he was quiet, Zexion's lessons were filled with his passion for knowledge. He instructed Roxas on literature, he taught him languages and regaled him with stories taken from history, his voice whisper quiet but it soared in Roxas' mind and took him to far off places and distant events. Out of the two instructors, Zexion would be the one to pass on little pieces of information about Roxas' father. And, unbeknownst to the boy, shared as much about him as he could with Leon, sending the father photos and reporting on his progress. Roxas knew that his father ran some kind of committee, lived near a castle with his partner who remarkably resembled Roxas with bright blue eyes and spiking blond hair. And though he knew it was foolish, Roxas held onto the hope that one day his father would fight for him and win, that one day Roxas would live beneath the shadow of a castle and work with his father. And most of all, one day he would feel a part of a family instead of a troublesome guest. One day he'd be loved and cherished and he would belong.

It was quite by accident that Zexion mentioned in passing that a boy was living with Leon and Cloud before continuing with their last lesson in iambic pentameter. As the tutor explained that the particular form of poetry lent a 'Dee-**dum,** dee-**dum,** dee-**dum**, dee-**dum**, dee-**dum**' rhythm to the words, Roxas' mind was whirring its way into deep depression. Leon never wanted him, Leon was never going to fight for him; Leon had replaced him with some other boy. That boy was living in the castle's shadow, he was probably older and taller and smarter and stronger than Roxas, he would be able to help out with the committee's work. Roxas would never have a family because of that boy. He hated the boy. _Hated_ him _and_ his father. And the _stupid_ man they lived with. These thoughts screamed through Roxas' mind, completely unobserved by the enthusiastic Zexion who was, at that moment, reeling off examples of iambic pentameter, "Full **fa**thom **five** thy **fa**ther **lies**;" The fact that, for the first time ever in one of his lessons, Roxas was not participating or asking questions brought Zexion to a halt. "Roxas, are you ok?" The boy refused to meet Zexion's gaze and produced the first excuse he could think of.

"I, feel sick. Is it OK if I go and lie down?" He asked weakly, his stomach, in truth, roiling with the knowledge that his father had adopted a new son when he had one ready and waiting for him. Since Roxas didn't tend to lie, his tutor wished him good health and sent the boy off to bed before informing Vexen that he wouldn't need to prepare any lessons that day. Once Roxas got to his room, he locked the door. His cousin Tidus would be at school for another three hours yet, so Roxas had the room to himself. He didn't understand why no one ever wanted him. He had no friends, since he didn't attend school. His cousins rarely interacted with him outside their home, and Roxas didn't like to talk to the adults since it always felt like they were looking down at him. Child born of sin and all that. After wallowing in misery, face planted into his pillow securely for about thirty minutes, Roxas roused himself and purposefully switched their shared computer on.

Roxas refused to go down without a fight. He was old enough to manage by himself at sixteen, the only thing that had kept him living with his mother's family was the hope that his father would ask him to go and live with him. If he stayed with his family, he would be easy to find. But Leon obviously was never planning on coming and taking him away, well, Roxas was not going to stay a moment longer. Clicking angrily to open his favourite browser, Roxas' fingers thudded against the keyboard as he typed 'Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee' into the first search engine he thought of. Reading up on their website, Roxas was confused by the fact they were based somewhere called 'Radiant Gardens'. With a frown, he entered the new name into the engine and printed off maps and searched hotels and finally booked a train ticket first thing the next morning. As everything printed off, the old printer rattling the desk it was sat on, Roxas leapt about the room and packed the essentials that would not go noticed, filled with a nervous energy. Stuffing the papers he'd need into a rucksack he shoved that and his duffle bag of clothes under his bed. Taking a moment to wipe the internet history and anything else incriminating from the PC, Roxas shut the computer down and shuffled out of his room, trying to look as sickly as possible. Once he reached the kitchen he grabbed two bottles of water, some apples and bananas, a few cereal bars and scuffled back up to his room without meeting anyone. Pleased with his planning though still bubbling with anger and hurt, Roxas checked over what he had packed, ensured that he had his wallet and phone, plus the charger and then slipped into bed fully clothed. Seconds later he dashed to the bathroom, grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, his shampoo and some body-wash before flushing the toilet to seem natural and puttering back into the bedroom. Stashing the final items away into his bag, Roxas cuddled up under his blankets and tucked them around himself securely to hopefully evade the problem of kicking them off in his sleep.

For once his age old habit of waking at five in the morning proved useful. Instead of going back to sleep as he usually did, Roxas crept out of bed and, gathering his bags, snuck downstairs, careful to not wake Tidus or anyone else in the house. He wrote a note to his aunt and uncle quickly as he waited for the kettle to boil and made up a thermos flask of coffee to take with him.

'_Aunt Ariel and Uncle Eric,_

_I have decided that I have caused the family enough trouble by now. I know I am a strain on you all and am moving away so that you don't have to worry any more. Please tell Zexion and Vexen that I won't need their tutoring any longer. I want to thank them for being such good teachers and I also would like you to let everyone who has cared for me over the years that I am extremely grateful. It can't have been easy taking in some kid when everyone already has such large families. You don't need to worry about me, I am quite capable of looking after myself, I won't tell you where I am going but know that I'll be fine. You don't need to send someone to look for me._

_Thank you all again,_

_Roxas xx _'

Eyeing the darkened rooms with no sense of regret, Roxas slipped out of the house, locking the door behind him and posting his key through the letterbox. This was it; finally he would depend on only himself, no longer would he be shunted back and forth amongst his family. He was making his own way in the world. Huffing a cloud of warm breath into the icy air, Roxas began walking, the train station was not too far away and his train left at 6:30. He'd have plenty of time to get there, collect his ticket and pay for it using cash so he, hopefully, wouldn't be traced. He was soon settled onto the train for a long ride, pulling out his mp3 player and stuffing his earphones into his ears. Roxas leant his forehead against the train window and watched the world pass him by. He was partially shocked that he'd come so far. He was usually so mild mannered, calm and thought things through. This was the first time in his life he'd just shut down and followed his impulses. He didn't even think he _wanted_ to confront his father. That meant meeting his...adopted brother and likely confirming his concerns about him. The problem was, if he didn't go to his father, where could he go? He had enough savings to rent a small apartment, he supposed, and as long as he could snag a job, he'd manage to be self sufficient. And, really, he ought to see if he could enrol at a school. Not that he knew how schools worked, but he really would need to complete his education if he intended to go anywhere in life. Mulling his future over sullenly, the train carried Roxas closer and closer to Radiant Gardens.

Upon arriving at his new home, dazzled by the size of the city after the close knit community of Twilight Town, Roxas booked to stay at a small, cosy bed and breakfast run by a jolly, roly poly woman. He spent his days hunting for an affordable apartment, not willing to live somewhere potentially dangerous and also visiting the local library to use their computer facilities. He'd asked the librarian about enrolling in a school and had been recommended one and referred to their website. After contacting the headmaster, Roxas had doubled him efforts in finding a home and a job. Lucky for him, as his first week in the new and unfamiliar city, everything started to wrap up neatly for Roxas. The first thing he noticed was that he had grown familiar with the city; he knew the public transportation like the back of his hand and could wander the streets without feeling lost. It was on one of these walks that Roxas noticed a 'HELP WANTED' sign in a cafe window. He was overjoyed to find that the owner, Aerith, was both willing to hire him and a landlady with a small apartment available if he wanted. After being shown around the small but neat and tidy furnished apartment, Roxas gladly accepted both that and the job, thanking Aerith profusely. He returned to the B&B to collect his belongings and thank the owner before heading to the nearby shops. There he purchased some foodstuffs, cleaning items, more personal hygiene goods and sheets, pillows and a comforter for his bed. He spent the rest of the day cleaning the apartment thoroughly until it smelt pleasantly of grapefruit and arranging it to his liking. By this point, Roxas had decided that he did not want to go and meet his father. The prospect of being pushed away now that Leon had his new son was enough to make Roxas hot and cold with anger and fear. Instead of moping, he returned to the library, borrowing a few books and checked his emails. He had been sent an application form to fill in for the school. Pleased that he actually had an address to provide, Roxas filled it out and sent it off and smiled. According to the email he should receive his timetable through the post in the next three days, ready for him to start school on the Monday.

Roxas had never felt so optimistic in his life. All the major decision making for the foreseeable future had been made. He had a job and a home and would be going to school for the first time in his life. The worst part in any situation was worrying about making the right choices. Once Roxas made a decision, he kept by it, all the worrying was taken out of his life, he felt more secure than he had ever felt in his life. He was relying on himself, he could settle down here, starting his own life and he liking the feeling of power it gave him. But as we all know, when things are going well, something has to attempt throwing a spanner into the works. Roxas met this metaphorical 'spanner' on his first day at school. It is a well known fact that Monday is the most miserable day of the week. No one likes it. People born on Monday's, according to that little poem, are destined to be 'full of woe'. This particular Monday was miserable with everyone heading back to work or school in the pouring rain and wailing wind. Enter Roxas, his alarm didn't deign to wake him, he was running late and just threw on the first pieces of clothing he'd found which, thankfully did not clash. Clad in comfy jeans, a plain black T-shirt and a dark purple hoodie, Roxas stomped into some slightly worn shoes and dashed out of the door without eating anything for breakfast, rucksack slung over one arm and timetable stuffed into his back pocket. Dashing to school in the pouring rain, Roxas discovered that one of his shoes had a hole in the sole, allowing it to fill with water and slosh as the foot moved, that his hoodie was most definitely not water proof, and that he didn't know exactly where his school was. Ten minutes after the bell had rung, calling the students to registration, Roxas flung the doors open and hurried into the cool school interior and found himself surrounded by silence. He was completely alone in the entrance, the walls lined with lockers. He shivered, partially from apprehension but mainly because of the sheer amount of freezing rainwater that every piece of his clothing had managed to absorb. Deciding that the sensation of damp cotton boxer shorts was one that he NEVER again wished to encounter, Roxas reached into his back pocket to pull out his timetable and hopefully make his way to registration before it ended.

With a wet tearing sound, Roxas found himself holding less than half of his timetable. Groaning he carefully teased the remains of his timetable from his pocket and was presented with a mess of five separate pieces of torn paper, each with a lovely pattern of water run ink. Groaning Roxas stood in the eerily silent hallway, lined with lockers, and listened to the water dripping from his nose and hair plinking into the vast puddle forming around his feet. He felt miserable. Even his boxers were soaked through, he was cold and hungry from a skipped breakfast and now he was going to miss his registration and had no way of finding his classes. Running both hands viciously through his sodden hair and looking skywards in supplication, Roxas failed to notice the gleam of green eyes and the flash of white teeth coming from the depths of a dark corner. Plunking his, thankfully waterproof, rucksack into the puddle around his feet, Roxas' attention was drawn to a shadow detaching itself from the corner where it had been lounging against a locker. Gulping nervously, Roxas watched as the shadow revealed itself to be a tall, slender figure wearing a hooded leather coat, hood drawn close around the wearer's head so that all Roxas could discern was a faint pale glimmer of the figure's face. Running his fingers nervously through his hair again, slicking still wet locks away from his face and immediately regretting the loss of anything to hide behind, Roxas faced the taller boy who chose that moment to push back his hood. Roxas gaped at the redhead's spiky hair which, despite having been trapped beneath the hood, managed to spring back in disarray. Blue eyes took in pale skin marred with two strangely appealing inverted teardrops, smirking lips and dark clothes. Right down to black jeans that were surely painfully tight and black boots before shooting back up to meet blazing green eyes as a purring voice interrupted his ogling.

"Like what you see, kid?" the guy asked, green eyes shimmering with suppressed mirth at the deer-caught-in-headlights expression the blue eyed youth fixed him with. When only incoherent babble greeted his words, the taller boy smirked even wider than before and held out one hand. "The name's Axel, got it memorised?" When all he received was a little squeak and his hand being eyed like it was a hungry shark, Axel roughly ruffled the hair at the back of his head. "So..oooo, I'm guessing you're new here?" this time he received a tiny nod in response. "And that," Axel pointed at the soggy pulpy mess of paper by the boy's feet, "is...well, was your timetable?" One more nod. Axel was beginning to worry that the kid was a mute. "Sheesh, people always babble at me, usually I'd give anything for this kind of stunned silence, but kid...I gotta say it'd be helpful if you could...I dunno, give me your name at least? And then I'll take you to reception to get a new timetable, maybe a laminated one, and show you to your first class or something." As he was about to grumble something quite possibly rude, Axel heard a very timid voice pipe up.

"R...roxas." The redhead's eyes gleamed oddly as his mouth stretched into one of the widest grins Roxas had ever seen.

"Rrrroxxasss, nice to meet you. Onwards to Reception! And awaaayyyy we goooooo!" As Roxas was trying to clear the tingles from his body from the way the older boy had purred his name, Axel grabbed the bewildered blonde's wrist with one hand, snatched up his rucksack with the other and towed him along behind him like an obedient tugboat leaving a wake of water behind them. That was, until a loud, reprimanding voice cut into the air that had previously been silent except for Roxas' squelching, squeaking shoes and the steady dripping of rainwater.

"AXEL TYSON! Are you skipping registration _again_!" Axel groaned and muttered.

"Not Saïx, he hates me!" Roxas' eyes widened as Axel pulled him around to face a blue haired, scar-faced menace of a teacher. Axel's own eyes widened, but in feigned innocence instead of shock. "No Sir. I was just helping the new kid find reception since his timetable got ... smooshy from the rain." Both boys saw the teacher twitch at Axel's use of such a childish word before grunting and turning back into his classroom. Roxas blinked but was more concerned about the warm sensation that was emanating around his body, point of origin being the skin that Axel was in direct contact with. Axel merely grinned like a happy cat at Saïx's hasty retreat and returned his attention to pulling Roxas on his way to reception, heart thudding painfully in his chest. The kid was cuter than his photos had implied. And though he looked more like Cloud than Leon, Axel could definitely see features of the stoic brunet in the seemingly shell shocked boy. Though Axel had suggested the little runaway might come here seeking his father, he really had not expected their serendipitous meeting.


	2. A Place to Call Home

Axel and Roxas became inseparable, and although the blond didn't really have any choice in the matter, he found that he enjoyed the redhead's attention. He had imagined himself managing to fit in with a small group of friends, them allowing him to join them at lunch and inviting him out after school until it was like they had always been together. But, Axel lavished enough attention on him to make up the attention of at least four other people. The redhead met him on the way to school, in between classes and spent the intervening hours between the end of school and the start of Roxas' job with the boy. They ate lunch with Axel's gang. That was the only way to describe them. Everyone was slightly nervous of the 'Organization' but Roxas found nothing scary about the group of nine males and one female. Yes, they all wore the long leather coats that Axel did and many of them had odd hairstyles and could get quite loud and violent if they had a disagreement, but they were nice to him and didn't resent the time Axel spent with him. Roxas, after a while of feeling confused by the redhead, began to relax. He started off flinching away from Axel when the older boy touched him; the buzzing feeling that filled him at a simple brush of fingers against Roxas' skin was bewildering and made him nervous. However, as Axel patiently persisted, Roxas' began to look forward to his friend's occasional affectionate gestures. A hug when they met and parted, fingers sifting comfortingly through his hair. It all made Roxas feel cherished and wanted, something he'd longed for, for such a long time. His only concerns were the fact that no one else seemed to act the way he and Axel did. None of the other boys spent so much time solely in each other's company, nor did they appear to hug. But Roxas was unwilling to lose the warmth Axel supplied him with and tried to ignore his worries. Axel was thrilled that Roxas had accepted him so quickly. He had known Roxas, well he'd known _of _Roxas, for years now, listening to Cloud talk about his boyfriend's son and feeling sorry for the boy who had never had a proper home or family. And now he was getting to know him properly, learning that he was deadly afraid of things that buzzed as they flew but had a soft spot for spiders (because they _ate_ the buzzy flying creepy crawlies). He knew Roxas' favourite colour did not exist, that he liked black _and_ white, together, always together. Ying yang's, checkerboard, abstract patterns, black and white entwining. Axel knew that Roxas was the friend he'd hoped he would be, and maybe, in the future, could be more.

The only other time that the Organization members, minus Larxene, would all gather together was at gym. Roxas was uncomfortable when surrounded by all the taller, more muscular boys and had convinced Axel to let him get changed apart from the group, alone. The changing rooms was split up into alcoves framed by lockers, Roxas changed in whichever alcove he could find that had the least amount of people in it. He felt rather shy and nervous around the other guys wandering around in various levels of undress, including wearing only a towel about their waist. Roxas was getting changed after gym one day, alone for once, and contemplating his new best friend. He was beginning to feel slightly confused by their level of ... closeness. From what he had observed in other people at school, he and Axel behaved more like the couples dating than they did simple best friends. Though Axel never invited Roxas over to his house, the pair went out most weekends when their work didn't get in the way. Thinking about Axel and work made Roxas wonder why the older boy always skirted around the topic of where he worked. Perhaps it was something embarrassing... This thought process was cut off as Axel's gang fell quiet. They'd been shouting and laughing raucously nearly the entire time they'd been changing, the sudden quiet was at first relaxing, until the boy tuned into their conversation. Xaldin asked about what he should prepare for someone's surprise birthday party and Roxas froze when he heard, "So, Ax, can you ask Cloud to write up a list of some of Leon's favourite foods?" Blue eyes widening, Roxas scuttled into a hidden corner in case someone spotted him standing open mouthed in the middle of the room. Axel _knew_ his father and Cloud? Why had he not told him? Roxas bit his bottom lip; admittedly, he never had mentioned Leon, but still -

"Yeah, sure thing Xaldy." Axel's cheerful voice chimed. Next, Marluxia, a guy freakishly obsessed with flowers, piped up.

"So, are you gunna invite little Roxie?" he asked.

"Uhm...no. I don't want Roxas to know anything about me living with Leon and Cloud." Hearing this, Roxas' eyes filled with tears and he dashed out of the changing rooms unnoticed by Axel and his friends. "I think it's too soon. Leon said that Zexion thought the kid ran off when he happened to mention me by accident. It must have been hard for him to find out that his dad had adopted some random kid. Roxas doesn't know anything about me, or the fact that Leon's been fighting for custody. I want Rox to ... trust me, I guess, before he meets his dad. Leon thinks it's for the best too, and Roxas is quite safe in Aerith's apartment building, she's keeping a close eye on him when I can't."

Roxas was heartbroken at first. The only real friend he'd ever made happened to be his replacement. He'd thought Axel liked him, but it appeared that the redhead was simply trying to keep him away from Leon. Which would explain the obsessive walking him to and from school, the meeting up every weekend they could. And, of course, Axel would be working with Leon and the Restoration Committee. They had probably all laughed at Roxas' expense, amused that the boy had willing accepted Axel's false friendship. The Organization members were probably all in on the big joke too. Roxas moped around for a few days, avoiding Axel where ever possible and feigning illness whenever he thought he could get away with it, taking time off school and work. After he was through sulking, Roxas just felt angry. Leon was _his_ father, not Axel's. How could the boy even think he had the right to keep them separated? How could Leon agree to the plan? Had he concocted the scheme or did her really not know about it? The redhead soon picked up on the little blonde's unusual behaviour but his persistent wheedling only got him a smack to the face, a growled 'shut up Axel' and a fuming Roxas stomping off at high speeds. He was confused and hurt by his friend's behaviour, Axel was almost positive that he hadn't done anything to warrant this treatment. Roxas grew moodier and more violent by the day; Aerith even received complaints from her customers about the boy's snappish attitude and muttered rude remarks. It didn't take long for Aerith to find herself nervous around the boy's negative energy. When she hesitantly asked him if everything was OK, the boy snarled something at her before, eyes widening, he burst into tears and collapsed into her embrace. Startled by the sudden change in temperament, Aerith squeezed him reassuringly and sent him into the little back room off the kitchen which held a squishy couch, old CD player and a wardrobe for their work uniforms. Hurrying to phone Axel and let him know Roxas may tell her what was bothering him, the woman turned the 'open' sign to 'closed' and went to talk to her unhappy employee. Sitting beside the sobbing teen, Aerith held her arms out to him and smiled softly when he wrapped his own arms about her waist, cuddled in against her warmth and sobbed against her shoulder. Roxas hadn't done this in a long time, be held by a motherly figure, although Aerith was not really old enough to be his mum, she exuded that kind of warm motherliness a few women seemed to have instinctively. After ten minutes of him crying and Aerith making gentle hushing sounds whilst running her fingers through his hair, Roxas calmed down enough to manage talking coherently.

"Roxas, sweetie, what's wrong?" Aerith asked softly, still running soothing circles across his scalp, the motions beginning to make the boy's eyelids droop. With a heavy sigh, Roxas chose to confess in the motherly woman.

"No one wants me." He said, then, realising how childish that sounded, tried to elaborate. "My family hasn't once tried to contact me since I left, nor have my...friends..." Roxas didn't know how else to describe Zexion and Vexen. "I've come all this way and haven't been brave enough to do what I originally intended. I managed to make a friend, well, what I thought was a friend, and then I find out that he's just trying to keep me away from someone. He doesn't like me at all and, I really liked him. A lot. I should never have come here, I might as well go somewhere new, where it doesn't rain so much, where I can start out fresh and leave my past behind me. Find a _girlfriend_ and settle down." The boy was still troubled by how close he and Axel had been, even though Axel had been pretending, the feelings had been real for Roxas.

"No, Roxas, don't do that." Aerith said softly, her voice masking a slight sound of distress coming from near the door.

"Why? No one would miss me." Roxas' voice was bitter.

"That's not true...I would." The pair in the room looked up to see Axel standing in the doorway, eyes distraught. Roxas gaped at him, speechless for a second.

"I'd miss you too Roxas." Aerith spoke again, voice soft and pleading. Roxas pulled away from her, ears deaf to her words, eyes blazing electric blue as they locked onto Axel.

"What do you mean, 'you'd miss me'!" the blond boy screeched. Axel flinched. "You pretended to be my friend. Axel, I thought you were my _friend_!" Roxas' voice became a wail but he fought back the tears that struggled to spring forth.

"I _am _your friend Roxas! What's all this about!" Axel's heart was thudding painfully in his chest; something felt like it was caught in his throat. His green eyes were wide with honestly and confusion, but Roxas was oblivious. The smaller boy leapt to his feet and pounded a fist into Axel's jaw.

"I TRUSTED YOU!" he screamed, tears now running unnoticed down his face. Aerith sat with her hands covering her mouth in shock, uncertain how to deal with what was going on. "I _trusted _you." Roxas' voice fell to a whimper as Axel wrapped his long arms around the small, trembling frame, ignoring the dull ache left by Roxas' blow.

"Rox, what did I do?" He asked, remorse making his words waver. The redhead was lost, he cared about Roxas _so _much, how could he have hurt him this badly and not notice? His words seemed to ignite the previously doused anger in Roxas as the boy beat his curled hands against Axel's chest.

"I thought you...I trusted you. I _liked_ you. And all along, it was _you_!" Both Aerith and Axel were lost, but Roxas' voice continued on.

"_You're_ the one who stole my family from me. _You're_ the reason I came here. _You're_ the reason I was too afraid to meet him. _You're _the one who didn't want me to become a part of your happy little family. He was _mine_ first. Even if he didn't want me! First Cloud took him away from me, and then _you_ did! Why am I not enough for him? _Why_ does no one want me? My father didn't want me, my mother didn't; she killed herself to keep away. My family put up with me, but they never really _wanted_ me. They were just trying to keep me away from 'sin', like me knowing my dad would turn me gay automatically, as if I would like girls so long as I didn't meet him. And then I met you, and I thought that for once someone really _did _want me! So I didn't get angry when no one else was brave enough to try to be my friend, because you were always there and you made me feel special. And then I find out that it's all just a way to keep my dad to yourself. You couldn't bear the thought of sharing him with me, of being my brother _as well_ as my friend. So in the end, _you _don't want me either!" Roxas' voice transitioned through anger, hurt, childlike despair and finally just simple pain. He stood before Axel, whose arms had fallen to his sides in shock, head bowed and blue eyes glistening with tears.

"Rox..." Axel sighed. The younger boy took a few steps back, shaking his head but unable to speak. "I wasn't trying to keep you away from Leon. You should know, he's been fighting for custody for you for years now. He wants you so bad, he and Cloud only adopted me cos I'm Cloud's nephew. He's my only living family. I am your friend, I wanted to be your friend, and I always wanted a brother. But when I met you, I knew that you could never just be a brother to me." Axel wanted to tell Roxas that he meant so much more to him than even brotherly affection could explain, but he found he couldn't make the words form. Roxas' eyes turned up to flash accusingly at the elder boy who simply held up one finger, begging silence and tried to explain why he'd done as he had, in the hope that Roxas would still be around when he found he _could_ tell the boy how he felt. "We thought that if you trusted me to be your friend, if we were close, it would be easier for you to settle in with us. None of us thought you knew that this is where Leon lives; after all, Radiant Gardens is the biggest city within a few hours train journey from Twilight Town. We thought it was luck, the first place you decided would work for you. I never thought that I'd see you at school, I couldn't believe that the boy I'd seen in photos for so long was suddenly standing, dripping wet, at my school." Axel gently reached out and took Roxas' hand into his own, smiling as the blond chuckled lightly at the reminder of their meeting and allowed the older boy to keep his hand held loosely. "It's Leon's birthday today. Cloud has organised a surprise party. D'ya wanna come?" Green eyes burned with sincerity as they met wavering blue and lit up with pure happiness at the hesitant nod Roxas offered. "Great! Let's get you home so you can wash and get changed. Meet you there Aerith, don't tell!" Axel swooped down to kiss the blushing woman's cheek and, still holding Roxas' hand, led the dazed boy out of the cafe.

Thirty five minutes later, the two boys stood in front of the restoration committee's building. The party had been in full swing for ten minutes by that point, but they weren't concerned about being late. "We had to hold it here 'cos Leon wouldn't leave the house on his birthday for anything but a work emergency. He'd have been suspicious of anything else." Axel snorted in amusement and wrapped his fingers around Roxas' once more. "You nervous?" he asked and received a slow nod in response. "You'll be fine. Leon might seem scary, but he's a big teddy bear underneath all his quiet grumpy lion exterior. And Cloud...well, he's kinda like you actually. I think you'll get along just fine." After watching Roxas eye the door like it was about to gnaw on his face at any given moment, Axel grinned. "You ready, kid?"

"Uhm..." before Roxas had even cut off his hesitant, thoughtful hum; Axel had smirked and swung the door open. A blare of sound rushed out of the building to wash over them, chased by a deep masculine shout aimed just loud enough to reach over the noise of the room.

"Axel, did you have anything to do with this?"

"No, Leon, this one is _alllllll_ Cloud's. I just helped with..." Axel was cut off by what sounded very much like a snarl.

"What's he doing here?" Roxas gaped at the angry expression on his father's face and felt his last fragile bubble of hope shatter. Leon _didn't _want him after all. As Axel frowned at Leon, Roxas tugged his hand from Axel's grasp. The redhead turned to the boy, mouth already open to say something, to see the blond boy already haring off back the way they'd just come. Growling in frustration, fighting down the panic he felt, Axel shot a glare at Leon, slammed the door shut and sped off after Roxas. He just couldn't lose him, not after he'd just began to trust him again. It didn't take long for him to find the boy. Roxas was curled up under the shelter of a shop's doorway, head to knees as he cried. Axel knelt in front of him and pulled the boy to his chest.

"He didn't mean it Roxie." Axel said softly. Leon was known for his limited people skills, but Roxas hadn't been prepared for the result of shock. "He loves you; really, he was just, not expecting to see you." Oh, how Axel wanted to tag on an 'I love you too', but the words still refused to make it from his brain to his lips.

"He hates me." Roxas' voice was muffled against Axel's chest. He felt more secure in the redhead's arms than he had when Aerith had hugged him, but his heart was hurting so much in response to his father's reaction that he couldn't even feel it fluttering as it usually did when Axel touched him.

"No, he loves you Roxas. I...I ...lo...Please don't go." Axel stumbled over his words, unable to give his feelings voice and bit back a groan of frustration. He'd already felt close to Roxas when they first met, that closeness had quickly evolved into affection but he simply couldn't voice it.

"Nobody could love a nobody like me." Roxas said, shoving the redhead away viciously, curling even tighter into himself. He wanted to be loved. Even if it was by a boy. He didn't agree with his mother's family, there was nothing wrong with loving someone of the same sex, it didn't feel wrong to him.

"Then, I guess that makes me a nobody then." Axel heaved a sigh and turned to face away from the boy, disgusted at his pathetic attempt to tell Roxas he loved him. Before he'd taken three steps he felt a hesitant hand pull at his coat sleeve. Turning his head to one side, to hide his expression – half nervous, half hopeful grin - , Axel allowed one eye to peer down at the blond behind him. Roxas' face was contorted in confusion even as his glorious blue eyes shone with barely acknowledged hope and awe. He had barely even allowed himself to hope that Axel felt about him anything close to the way Roxas felt about Axel. His heart began its peculiar fluttering, Leon forgotten.

"A nobody?" he whispered, lips puckered oh-so-adorably in a pout not quite yet willing to transform into a smile. Axel sighed and spun around suddenly, scooping his little emo kid into a tight embrace and buried his cheek against the boy's soft spiky hair. His heart was doing a mad victory dance, yelling and screaming its joy at the _hope_ in Roxas' expression. Surely that meant that...

"Or maybe, if you prefer – I know I do - it makes_ you_ a _**somebody**_." Axel said gently, feeling Roxas melt into his embrace and was finally unable to restrain himself. Tightening his reedy arms around the waif, Axel lifted him easily and spun them around in a dizzy circle, shining blue meeting joyous green, teeth flashing a mirror image of happiness as laughter escaped the two boys. No sound had ever expressed such euphoria. And then, no silence could ever be filled with such passion as the pair fell to the rain dampened ground in a dizzy tangle of limbs. Hungry lips sought each other, Roxas shy and awkward but willing and eager, Axel gentle and caring. A sigh escaped in bliss. Never had Roxas felt like this before, he felt like his heart was soaring, forget its previous fluttering_._ He had finally found somewhere he belonged. In Axel's arms. And it didn't matter anymore whether Leon wanted him or not. As long as he had Axel, Roxas would be just fine. "I love you Roxas." Axel finally whispered as their lips parted to draw breath. He was shocked that Roxas felt the same way. It felt unreal, not even an hour ago, Roxas had hated Axel's guts, and now they were kissing, declaring love and devotion. The blond boy eagerly pressed his lips back to Axel's, tongue hesitantly questing forth to trace the seam of the elder boy's lips. He let his moans of pleasure be his response as Axel's tongue met his own. Roxas didn't know much about relationships, he'd observed them and worried about his unusual friendship with Axel, but maybe it made sense. They'd behaved like a couple because, foolishly hidden from each other, they were harbouring feelings much stronger than friendship.

A harsh clearing of someone's throat forced the boys to pull back from each other, startled eyes seeking out the source of the sound. Amused grey eyes took in their dishevelled state, still laying on the ground, clothes rumpled and damp, hair mussed and lips swollen slightly from passionate kisses. Leon snorted. "Welcome home, kid." He said, grinning as Cloud slipped up beside him and wrapped his arm about his waist. Axel grinned at Roxas and pressed a final kiss to his lips before scrabbling to his feet and pulling the blond up after him. Roxas' eyes were wide, his cheeks flushed as he took in his father's expression. Simultaneously, Axel and Cloud nudged their counterpart forward. Without further encouragement, Leon and Roxas were embracing, the brunet muttering his many appologies as Roxas tried to soak up a lifetime of his father's affection. He felt like he was about to burst. From having no one, he now had a father and, if he dared think the word, a boyfriend. And Cloud too, in whichever capacity the taller blond wished to play in his life. As father and son broke apart, smiling at each other, the other two men stepped up beside them and together they walked back to the party. Roxas would soon find that he had quite a large, extended family in the restoration committee, all eager to enfold him into their midst. He felt like he was floating, but Axel's hand burning in his, fingers entwined, kept him anchored. The redhead didn't let him go as he was introduced to new people, names blurring and melting into faces. _Yuffie, Merlin, Riku, Sora, Donald, Mickey._ He was welcomed by the Organization members, their eyes gleaming as they noticed the joined hands and Axel's blissfull smile. And, most importantly to Roxas, he was reunited with old friends. Vexen greeted him with a nod but Zexion gave his old student a huge hug and surreptitiously wiped away a tear. He attempted to apologize for causing Roxas such anguish with a simple slip of the tongue, but Roxas would hear none of it.

"If you hadn't mentioned anything, I would never have come here and met Axel." He said. Zexion didn't seem to understand the importance of Roxas meeting Axel, so the redhead gladly displayed what was meant by stooping down to place a lingering kiss on Roxas' lips. The room was filled with hoots and catcalls, many of the girls 'awwing' as Roxas and Zexion's faces both filled up in a delicate pink shade. A joyous shout was heard and everyone watched in astonishment as Demyx sped through the crowd shouting, 'MY TURN!' Axel jealously drew Roxas against him, though deep down he knew his friend was not aiming for the boy. Well, not that particular boy at least. Before Zexion had even registered what was going on, the mullet haired, mohawked blond barrelled into him, pulled him close and kissed him soundly. Everyone, except for the Organization members gaped in astonishment.

"Demyx!" Roxas sounded shocked, amused and appalled all at once. Said male shot him a peeved questioning glare. "He's my...he _was_ my teacher! He's older than you!" Demyx snorted.

"Axel's older than you, anyways, Zexy's only four years older than me. I'm three years older than you but I'm a year behind at school."

"but...but, Zexion..." the slate haired man looked a little shell shocked but blinked in an effort to clear his mind.

"I don't mind Roxas." He said softly before pulling Demyx down for another, much gentler kiss. The boy made an amusing squeaking noise before melting into Zexion.

Leon, pleased as he was that everything had worked out, was feeling slightly uncomfortable and had been eyeing his birthday cake since the party had started. As much as he protested the day he was born being celebrated, he had to admit, if only to himself, that the cake made it all worthwhile. Clearing his throat to draw everyone's attention to him, Leon managed to hide his content feeling behind his usual neutral mask but didn't really manage to fool anyone. "We going to cut that cake or what?" he asked, making everyone laugh. The man's weakness for cake was well known. Roxas beamed about himself in simple joy. Though he'd felt like the world was against him so much over the last month or so, he now realised that all that pain had been worth it. He pecked Axel's lips briefly and leant against his boyfriend happily. Everything seemed so much brighter, happier and fulfilling now in the face of all the worrying and misery he'd gone through before. He knew that the world wasn't out to get him, if it were; he wouldn't be here right now.

"Welcome home, Roxas." Axel breathed into the boy's ear, making him smile happily and turn to hug the older boy. '_Home_', that sounded nice.

**A.N**** – **OK! Revised version complete. I hope I've managed to clear some of the problems up. I must say that, apart for the ending, I feel much better about the story this time. Let me know what you think!

_**Dreamy xxx**_


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